WITH HELP FROM SOME FRIENDS
by anniesim
Summary: After a difficult mission CMDR Meg Austin is near her family again but still unhappy. Someone is going to help her change all that and she doesn't even know it. Please review
1. Chapter 1

**Meg's story.**

**After a successful top secret mission, Meg is finally near her family but still is unhappy. With some help from someone unexpected she will be able to make all her dreams come true.**

**Chapter 1**

06:00 a beach in Oahu

The extra 5 miles that she ran this morning were giving her cramps. " This is going to hurt for days. God, if I keep on going like this, I am going to put myself in an early grave" she said quietly to herself.

She knew why she was doing this, she just couldn't bring herself to admit it.

She started to run again towards her home, she knew that Cathy would be up at 06:45 to get ready for her trip on the islands and she wanted to get a shower, make breakfast and get into her uniform before that. She wanted to have some time to talk with her before both of them went their separate ways

Cathy was the reason she always had the drive to arrive home in one piece after a though assignment. She knew that there was someone who was depending on her .

She still remembered the day she met Cathy for the first time, she and Harm were investigating some sightings that had occurred in a naval base in Del Rio, Texas.

After the investigation had finished she had kept in touch with Cathy and her uncle, sometimes inviting them to her ranch.

After her uncle had died, Meg had taken Cathy in, but because she was unmarried and had e dangerous job she could not adopt her. Fortunately her brother and his wife were willing to adopt Cathy. So that made Meg her aunt on top of being her best friend.

Walking in the house she could smell that something was burning,

"Cathy what the hell is going on here?" she asked the girl that was standing by the stove,

" I was trying to make breakfast for all of us. You would think that at 15 I would be able to make an omlet without without setting the house on fire" said Cathy with a sad smile on her face.

"So cooking isn't your strong suite, you can\t be a champion in everything" said Meg , starting to help the girl with the cleaning. " Let's clean and get the breakfast on the table before the Dragon Lady gets up"

"And who are you calling a Dragon Lady, Cmdr?" said Allison Krennick, who was coming down the stairs into the kitchen.

"You better run before she turns you into a pancake", said Daniel Austin, who was coming from behind his wife. "Morning darlings", he said kissing his wife and than giving his daughter and sister a little peck on the cheek.

"Thanks dear brother is good to know that you are so willing to defend me" said Meg with a mock grin.

" He knows better than to get on my bad side" said Allison winking at her husband. " So Cathy, what other nicknames did your aunt told you about"

" Just this one mom", said Cathy giving her mother a kiss .

" Good, I don't want her giving you any ideas young lady, and next time you try to make breakfast be careful not to burn the house down" she said getting a bottle o water from the fridge." I'm on my way for my morning jog, have a nice trip Cathy, and Meg I need a ride to the office, my car broke down" she said running out the door.

"But I just got it fixed last week", said Daniel but his wife just gave him THE LOOK and ran out the door.

"I think I know why she really wants a ride" said Meg with a stern look.

"She cares about you, like all of us" said Cathy

"I am fine, and if you can get your dad to help you with breakfast I am going to take a shower" said Meg heading for the bathroom.

"I hope you and your mother know what your doing, because she may not speak to you if she finds out what you are up to" said Daniel.

"Don't worry dad, everything is under control" said Cathy winking at her father. "For now lets just get breakfast ready so I can be on my way. I have a trip to go to".

45 minutes later Meg and Allison were on their way to the office and Meg knew she was coming.

"So care to tell me what is going on?" she asked looking sternly at Meg.

"Nothing", Meg answered biting her lower lip.

Allison just shakes her head. After 7 years she was able to know when her sister in law was distressed and trying to hide it. After coming back from her last mission she became restless, having nightmares again and crying alone in her room at night. Everyone in the hose knew what was going on but they were scared to bring it up, so the task fell on her. She was after all "The Dragon Lady".

" Ok Meg, I'm not going push you right now because we are late for our meeting with Admiral Smith, but we are going to have a serious discussion tonight. I'm taking you out on a girls night out" she said looking seriously at Meg.

"Thank you Allison but I'm not in the mood ok, we'll talk about this some other time", Meg replied.

"I'm not asking you, I'm ordering you" she said laughing.

"Yes ma'am" replied Meg with a smile. She and Allison had become very close friends over the years and always helped each other through the rough patches of their lives.

19:30 Tropic's Bar

Meg and Allison were sitting at a table drinking. Allison was getting annoyed by the minute. "Ok Meg, are you going to tell me what the hell is bothering you . I though that after all these years you would be able to come to me with anything that bothered you. And don't start telling me everything is fine because I'll have you pushing papers in some dusted JAG office for the rest of your career" Allison said sternly.

Meg had a small smile on her lips. She knew how much Allison cared for her, not jus as her sister in law, but also as her superior officer, they had some rough missions back when they were both working undercover for Naval Intel and Meg was the one that "schemed" to bring together Allison and her brother. Sometimes she has small regrets about that, especially when she starts bossing her around at home but knowing that her brother and Cathy were happy, made the torture much easy to bear.

"What do you want me to tell you Allison? That I am having nightmare about my last mission? You know damn well I do. It's not easy to see your husband get killed in front of you and not be able to do something to stop it. I still feel guilty for not being able to dismantle that bomb and for surviving. Therapy is helping me get through it, but seeing the files again brought back memories, and I am being restless because I know I will have to see that bastard again at the trial. I am afraid I may be tempted to put a bullet through his head and that won't be good for my career" said Meg with a sigh.

Allison knew all to well what Meg was going through. After being transferred from JAG to Weapons, Meg was assigned to Lt. Cmdr. Carmichael on a special secret mission. She didn't know the specifics of that mission as it was top secret, but she did know that Meg came back from that mission with a purple heart and a ring on her finger.

The funny thing was that the marriage was supposed to be their cover but somehow the two of them managed to fall in love with each other. She was sure that Bruce always felt a little guilty about Meg being shot by Hemlock and that is why he tried to do everything to make it up to her. And he always knew that Meg was still in love with Harm.

That was the reason that he had Allison promise that if anything happened to him, she would try to get Meg and harm together. Apparently he already knew that Harm loved Meg as well, but that they were both to stubborn to do something about their feelings.

Everything was going well for all of them, until that fateful day. She and Meg were working together on a case in Naples, when they were taken hostage by a disgruntled navy Captain. Captain Anderson had a grudge against Meg and Bruce because they were the reason he was charged and convicted for treason.

Apparently he was selling top secret information and weapons to the Chinese Government.

Posing as the stupid blonde wife of an ambitious naval officer, Meg was able to gain the Captain's trust and get her "husband" and herself in the Captain's team. What the captain didn't know was that the "blonde bimbo" was a computer and weapons specialist and that she was not after the money but after was able to get the necessary info to convict the Captain and the rest of his team of accomplices, and also recover all the stolen weapons and the documents that they were selling to the Chinese.

Unfortunately six months later captain Anderson and a few of his accomplices escape from prison and had take about 30 people hostage and set a couple of bombs in the building. He was demanding 50 million dollars and also to have Meg go with him, in order to relieve the hostages and not detonate he bombs. Meg knew why he had demanded that she and her husband go with Anderson, he wanted to get his revenge for their treason.

After hours of hard negotiations and hours of living hell they were able to release the hostages and get to the bombs, but unfortunately what they did not know was that Anderson had another card up his sleeve. He had Bruce captured and had him handcuffed to another bomb that was on another level of the building.

When they were able to locate him it was to late. There was very little time on the clock and the bomb was a complicated one. It was stuck to Bruce's chair with wires and if they tried to cut the wires it would automatically explode. So the only thing Bruce could do was to order the bomb squad to leave the building and get his wife with them.

It was the most heartbreaking situation Allison had ever witnessed in her career.

Meg was screaming and struggling in the arms of the two officers that were trying to get her out of there.

They were only able to reach the window when the bomb went off. All that Allison could remember was that the two officers had pushed her and Meg through the window and into a safety net that were laid out side.

Even after 4 years she was having goose bumps just remembering it, so she could only imagine what Meg was going through. Especially that today was supposed to be their anniversary even though they never were able to get o proper wedding.

But she had made o promise to Bruce and she was intending on keeping that promise.

She was brought to the present by Meg's voice. "Allison did you hear what I was telling you?" asked Meg

"Sorry, I had my mind some place else. Care to repeat what you were saying?" said Allison looking at Meg with soft eyes.

"I was saying that maybe you were right about me not getting involved in Captain Anderson's case again, maybe it's better just to give you a written statement and not show my face in court. If I lose my temper we may not be able to get him to cooperate with us. God knows I want that bastard behind bars for the rest of his life but ironically he's the only person able to help us get to the weapons that were stolen 3 months ago" said Meg with a tired voice.

"Glad to hear it. I know its hard, but be assured that after all this is over I'm going to make sure that he never sees the light of day for the rest of his life" said Allison

"I thought the idea was to get him a lighter sentence now in order to get him to cooperate?" asked Meg with suspicion in her eyes.

"Well, that's what they all think but we have another idea in mind" said Allison with a smug smile.

"Who's we?" asked Meg

" Oh, me, Admiral Smith and Admiral Chegwidden" said Allison nonchalantly.

"You got Smith and Chegwidden involved in all of this?" asked Meg in disbelief.

"Yes and they were happy to lend a helping hand. That is why Chegwidden is sending his best team to help me with the negotiations, and before you start to get nervous again… Harm is not one of them" said Allison with a knowing look.

"Why would I get nervous?" asked Meg

"Because you are scared of what your reaction might be if you see him again. You are scared that you might still be in love with him after all those years" said Allison

'Can we change the subject?' asked Meg

'No. Meg you have to take the bulls by the horns and deal with those feelings and find out if you can do something about it. God it's a pity you didn't get him in your bed when you were partners, then maybe you would have realized that he wasn't worth it' said Allison looking at a flushed Meg.

'Yeah maybe, but considering what happened the last time I saw him, I'm not that sure' said Meg with a sigh. Looking at Allison's expression, Meg started laughing. It was the first time she saw a dumbfounded Allison Krennick-Austin.

'You've been keeping secrets commander! So what exactly happened between the two of you and where was I?' asked Allison with a mischievous smile.

'That's classified information Captain" said Meg a wink.

'I guess I'll have to find out the hard way' said Allison. 'Anyway, it's a good thing that I was able to get your mind of this day even for a split second. I know you are down because it was supposed to be your anniversary, but I don't think that Bruce would want you to sit and mop around. He would want you to be happy and live a full life. So think about it Meg, it's time to take of your personal life as well' said Allison in a serious tone.

'Why are you always trying get involved in my love life? Isn't your marriage enough source of entertainment for you?' asked Meg , one of her typical smile on her face.

'Because misery likes company" answered Allison.

'Maybe we should get back home, Dan and Cathy are probably getting worried' said Meg as she was getting up from the table.

'You really are a party pooper, I was really staring to enjoy the attention those gentlemen over there were giving us' said Allison with a husky voice, following Meg out of the bar.

'Some things never change' said Meg to herself while she was shaking her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**21:30 Austin Residence Hawaii**

'They are late, they should have been home half hour ago. I'm going after them" said an agitated Dan Austin. He was just getting his jacket when the front door opened and his wife walked through the door. 'What took you so long, and where is my sister?' asked Dan.

'Relax darling. Meg was called by Admiral Smith on an emergency. Apparently his daughter's computer went up in smoke and he called Meg to prevent a national disaster. She had stored on the hard drive all the plans of the future wedding and she was throwing a fit. And I was late because I had the take a cab back' said Allison giving her husband a long kiss.

'Hey, get a room you two' said Cathy a bit embarrassed.

' But I thought Julia's wedding isn't for 2 years' asked a confused Dan.

'You don't get it dad. A wedding needs careful planning, every detail thought over carefully" said Cathy with a dreamy look on her face.

"Oh boy, I know that look. It was the same your mother had when she was planning our wedding, and I still have nightmares" said Dan with a mock smile.

"Watch it mister, or you will be sleeping the rest of your leave on the couch" said Allison

"Ok, I give. Were you able to talk to Meg" asked Dan.

"Yes and it was just as we suspected' said Allison with a sigh.

"It kills me to see her that way, Meg was never the same after that" said Dan with a pained voice. "The Meg I knew was a lively, spunky person. She could light a whole room with her smile and make everyone feel better after talking to her. Even after dad's death she was able to pull back quickly, but I guess it's because she was just a kid.'

"Well that is why Cathy and I are going to help her get back to her old self, and I know just how" said Allison winking at her partner in crime.

"Oh dear, why don't I like the sound of that?" said Dan in disbelief. 'But whatever you do please make sure I still have a family to come back to, I would hate to have to break in a new wife and daughter' said Dan trying to duck his head from the pillows his girls were throwing at him.

"Well I see that you three are having a good time" said Meg who was standing by the door. 'Just remember that if you break any of the pillows I am not going to clean the mess"

"Shut up" said the Krennick-Austin family, throwing the said pillows in Meg's direction.

"Ok, this means war" said Meg running after her brother with a pillow in her hand. "And you two are next on my black list" she said pointing at the girls

"Bring it on sister" they shouted after her.

They spent the rest of the evening playing and laughing like one happy family, all their worries and problems forgotten… at least for now.

Meg sat in her bed staring at the ceiling when she heard a knock on the door.

'Cathy what are you doing up at this hour? It's almost 1 o'clock" asked Meg while she was lifting the bed sheet to make room for Cathy next to her.

Although she was almost 16 she still liked to cuddle next to Meg when she felt sad or had something in mind. And Meg could not complain, she loved her like she was her own daughter and sometimes was sad about the fact that she was not able to adopt her. Bruce had died just before they could apply for custody, but eventually everything turned for the best. The judge assigned temporary custody to her mother, and after her role in bringing about the marriage of her brother, Cathy remained with the Austin clan.

She still had to laugh and also wonder at how things had developed between her brother and her commanding officer, especially when it seemed that they couldn't stand each other.

It happened right after Bruce's death. She and Allison were on medical leave, and were recovering from their injuries. Although they were not caught in the explosion, they still had cuts and bruises from the glass of the windows they were pushed through, and also from some debris that had fallen on them from the blast.

Meg had wanted to get away from Italy and try to forget all that happened and wanted to get back home to her horses and to Cathy and her mother. Her CO was worried about her and so ordered Krennick to go with her in order to keep an eye on her at least until she got back to her family. Also he saw the opportunity to get Krennick out of his hair, the woman frightened him.

So Meg and Allison were expected home by her mother on Monday morning but because their flight had some delays they arrived on Monday evening. At the same time her brother was on temporary leave from his ship and had volunteered to go pick his baby- sister and her friend form the airport. And that was the moment their lives had changed.

Allison and her were waiting for Dan to pick them up, but he was running late. Meg decided to go to the bathroom before the ride home so she left Allison alone with their bags and their coffees.

When Meg came back from the bathroom the image that greeted her was one of amusement and of shock. She saw the airport guards trying to stop her CO from strangling her brother. In it's pure Austin style Dan had managed, God knows how, to bump into a very tired and also annoyed Krennick, spilling the coffee onto her favorite shirt and also instead of apologizing he called her stuck up.

The only way she managed to tear them apart was by threatening them with letting the guards take them to the local jail on any charges they saw fit.

The whole ride home was one on exasperating bickering on both parts. Even her mother was astonished at the way they fought. Her son was a very calmed and pacifying man.

But Meg saw the sparks that flew between them even when they were not fighting.

So she started to accidentally make herself scarce when they were in the same room, to take Allison with her on her horse rides and ask her brother to help Allison with her horse.

In time and with help from Meg, Dan was able to see the true nature of Allison Krennick. And it was not the one of a Dragon Lady, but was one of a strong, independent woman, with good character and principles, and also a person who cared very much about the people around her. And the icing on the cake was the way Allison and Cathy got along. It was the first time even Meg saw that side of Allison.

The shock came when she and her mother were told by both of them that they were getting married in the week-ed with the local justice of peace, as Dan had to get back to his ship. It also made things easier with Cathy's adoption.

Meg thought her mother would have a heart attack, but in the end she was happy for them.

When Meg asked Allison on why the rush, her answer was "I'm not getting any younger, this might be my last chance at a family. And your brother is the only naval officer who is not intimidated by me, personally I think he's crazy but we will see how it all goes".

Six months later the adoption papers came through, and after another six months they had the wedding and also moved together in their new house in Hawaii. Allison requested a transfer to Pearl Harbor to be close to her husband.

Meg was brought back from her reverie by Cathy who was asking her if she was alright.

"Yes Cathy, just a little caught up in the memories" said Meg kissing Cathy's forehead.

"About uncle Bruce" asked Cathy with a sad voice.

"No, about your parents actually" said Meg with a small laugh.

"Yeah they are something else. I still can't believe that I have such a great family" said Cathy with a smile, but Meg knew that something was bothering her.

"So, sweet pea, care to tell me what's wrong? You wouldn't crawl in my bed in the middle of the night if you were ok, you'd be in your room fantasizing about Prince Charming" said Meg giving her another tender kiss.

"I had a dream about mom and JD" said Cathy looking down at her hands.

Meg knew that Cathy felt guilty sometimes about being so happy with her knew parents.

"And was it a good dream" asked Meg.

"I guess. They were sad and told me not to forget them" she said with sadness in her voice.

"Cathy stop feeling guilty I am sure you mom and JD are happy for you wherever they are and all they would want for you is to live a happy life. And who is to say that it wasn't your mother that made for us to meet' said Meg winking at her.

"Yeah, I think you are right" said Cathy her spirits brought up a bit. "After I met you I always dreamt that you and your partner will come back for me and you would become my parents. I liked him, I think he would have been a great dad. You looked good together and I could tell he really liked you" said Cathy with a grin.

"A how would you know that Kitty Kat" asked Meg pocking her on her side with a finger.

"Because of the way he looked at you. It's the same way dad looks at mom" replied Cathy through giggles.

They started tickling each other and they ended up continuing the pillow fight they had down stairs early that evening. In the end Cathy fell asleep cuddled next to Meg.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**JAG Headquarters Pearl Harbor, Hawaii**

**17:00, Captain Krennick's Office.**

"Thank God the day is over" said Meg massaging her feet," I don't think I would have been able to keep this up for long, two staff meetings and three court appearances in one day are enough even for me".

"Yes, especially when you haven't slept the night before. And don't start to deny it, I saw Cathy sneaking out of your room this morning wile you were out jogging. Do I have something to worry about?" asked Allison with a concerned look. She knew that whenever Cathy felt uneasy she would go to Meg for comfort. She was not jealous, Meg had been there for Cathy long before she and Daniel walked into her life. And she also suspected that the girl sometimes felt reluctant in telling her adopting parents everything for fear of disappointing or getting punished.

"No, everything is fine. She just had a dream about her mother" said Meg softly.

"Ok. Now lets get back to our work, I want to finish these papers so I can go home and take a long bath" she said turning to the papers on the desk. "And thanks for giving me a hand".

"I had to, otherwise you would have gotten annoyed and then I would have got stuck with the whole bunch. This way I only have to do half" said Meg with a smile.

"Smart move cmdr" said Allison, "To bad you couldn't use the same trick on a certain naval aviator".

"I learned the tick from him" said Meg laughing hard

"Glad to see that my officers have such a good time at the office" said the baritone voice of Admiral Smith that was standing by the door.

"Admiral, sir" said both women standing attention at their CO.

"At ease" said the Admiral coming in the office and taking a seat next to Meg in front of Krennick's desk.

"Good job today Meg, you really nailed them in court. And three in a row, that's a record even for you. You better watch it Allison or she will have your chair" said the Admiral with a small laugh.

When there were no other officers or naval staff around them he called the two women by their given names. He was very proud of having them under his command, especially Meg. If half the people that worked in the navy had her working ethic everything would go smoothly. No wonder Chegwidden had sung her praises when he called him for some references. What was unknown to the young Cmdr was that, her ex CO had kept close tabs on her career.

"I am not feeling threatened Admiral, Meg and I are on the same boat" said Allison

"What's wrong sir? You don't usually drop a compliment if there isn't a catch behind it" said Meg with a knowing look.

"Bold as always" he thought to himself. Was another reason he liked Meg, she was straight up.

"I just got off the phone with State" he said with a long sigh. This was not going to be easy, especially for Meg. "They want the Anderson case solved ASAP, thus pushing the deadline of the negotiations for this Monday. As you can imagine they won't be able to bring Anderson here with the rest of the accused, so Chegwidden and I decided to have two teams" he said pinching the bridge of his nose. He could see on their faces that they already knew what he was going to say next.

"So I have to stay here and run the things here, as I would also be in charge of the office while you are in Naples for the Court Martial" said Krennick with a tired voice, "And Meg will have to go to Washington help the other team negotiate with Captain Anderson."

She and the Admiral were silent watching Meg getting out of her chair and moving to the window. She spoke after a couple of minutes.

"When do I leave sir?" asked Meg looking out the window.

"As soon as possible, the Admiral wants you to prep the team before Monday, and as the weekend is coming up you will only have tomorrow" said Smith.

"Who is Chegwidden sending to help me Admiral?" Allison hopping to God that it won't be Cmdr Rabb. He may be the only one able to help Meg back there, they were very good friends once. And also it saved Krennick some scheming to get those two in the same room.

"I don't know Allison. We decided to first inform you of the situation, I'll call him right away to establish all the details and then brief you on our decision" said the admiral heading for the door. "You'd better go home and pack Meg. I'll call you with the details" he said giving Meg a soft smile.

"Ay, ay sir" replied Meg.

Before the admiral could leave the room Krennick addressed him "Admiral could I have a word with you before you speak to Admiral Chegwidden"

"Sure Captain. Come by my office in 15 minutes, that will give Chegwidden enough time to brief his staff" said Smith looking at his watch and closing the door behind him.

Meg was looking out the window, a million thoughts running through her head. She was going back to DC to face the man responsible for her husband's death but also the man that used to be her best friend and the love of her life.

She already knew how she would deal with Anderson she would stand her ground and show no weakness, she would not give him the satisfaction. She would do everything in her power to ensure that he did not try to screw them over, she knew all to well he was a slick bastard. She was afraid that when he got what he wanted he could decide to "forget" to keep his end of the bargain. She had a feeling that there was more to this than those stolen nuclear weapons it usually was when the State Department got involved.

Meeting Harm again was a different thing entirely. She always felt weak to her knees just thinking about him. Even after 5 years she had to finally admit to herself that her feelings for him were just as strong. But she knew all to well that her feelings we unrequited. She knew that he had cared and loved her but only as a friend. She was very sorry that she had left so abruptly, but she knew she could not say goodbye to him.

But she was starting to regret that decision. She knew he would never forgive her for that or the fact that she never called him back or answered his letters. She had been a coward and had thrown those letters away.

She always wished that she could see that beautiful smile of his.

She always wondered what would have happed if she had remained in Washington. If he would have been able to see her more than just her partner and best friend, if he would have been able to love her the way he loved Kate or Maria, or if she would have remained plain old Meg.

Sometimes when he would flirt and smile at her a certain way he would make her feel special, like she meant something more to him, but she easily became invisible whenever Kate was around.

Being her senior officer she had a lot to learn from him and for that she would always be indebted to him. If she was the officer she was now it was also because of him.

Maybe if she was lucky he would be sent here, and she wouldn't have to face him just yet. She would have to meet with him someday if she was going to move on with her life one way or the other.

"But I guess I'll find out tonight" she thought to herself.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't felt Allison's hand on her shoulder or the tears that were brimming in her eyes.

"Are you alright?" asked Allison silently

"No, but I'll make it" replied Meg smiling through the tears. "Maybe we should call mom and ask her to come here a bit early so she could stay with Cathy. Daniel is leaving as well and you'll be stuck here for most of the week" she said moving towards the phone.

"Cathy is not ten anymore Meg, she will be fine by herself. But if it would make you feel better I'll ask Maggie to come a bit early" said Allison, "Now go home and take a long bath and try to get some rest. You'll have a long day tomorrow" said Allison in a serious tone.

"Yes, I suppose you are right. But call me as soon as you find out something" said a more composed Meg getting her jacket and her cover from the closet.

"Hey Meg" called Allison stopping Meg before she opened the door

"Yes" she replied.

"Good luck and try not to work too much. Have a safe flight" said Allison.

"Thanks, and take care" said a smiling Meg closing the door.

5 seconds after Meg had left her office, Allison was heading towards Admiral Smith's office. If she could have her way she would make sure that nothing would stop Meg and Harm from meeting again.

Allison knew Meg was thinking about Harm back in her office, that's why she had tears in her eyes.

She never could understand the love that Meg had for that arrogant flyboy. He was very attractive that was true, that was why she kept stalking him and throwing innuendo at him, but she never had any kind of feeling for him. And personally she thought that Meg deserved better than him but who was she to judge her. And she was going to make sure that this "problem" one way or the other.

She knocked on the admiral's office door and went in when he called "Enter".

"Admiral, sir" said Allison standing attention.

"At ease" said Smith. "So Captain, care to tell me why you wanted to talk before I called Chegwidden?"

"I wanted to be present sir so that I could make my own suggestion regarding the lawyers that would help us with the case. You know I worked there with Meg, and I know exactly the officer that would be able to help her and also support her. It will not be easy for her" said Krennick

"Don't worry Captain, the Admiral already took care of that" said Smith with a smile, "You will work with a Lt. Col. MacKenzei and Cmdr. Brumby and Meg is going to work with Cmdr. Rabb and Lt. Roberts" he said reading their names from a paper on his desk. "I suppose you are satisfied?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"Immensely sir" replied Krennick with a mischievous look.

"Well let's call Meg and give her all the details, and when I'm done you can start telling me what's the deal with this Cmdr. Rabb", said Smith with a wink.

"Ay, ay sir" replied Krennick.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Thursday 26****th****, 22:00 o'clock **

**JAG Headquarters, Washington DC**

Admiral Chegwidden sat at his desk staring at the file in front of him but his mind was some place else. He had just finished the conference call he had with Admiral Smith. They had established all the details concerning the Anderson case. He had a feeling that everything was going to change.

He had already decided to send Lt. Col. Mackenzei and Cmdr. Brumby to Pearl Harbor and thus was able to brief them.

What he hadn't counted on was that State would move the negotiations to next Monday instead of next month. And as a consequence they had to send the lawyers to Hawaii to negotiate with the other 3 SOBs that were involved with Anderson and also put together another team to negotiate with Anderson here.

State initially decided to take them all there because it was a "neutral" ground and also because the prosecuter that handled their case 5 years ago was stationed there.

Apparently they can be helpful in finding the nuclear weapons that were stolen from SEATAC Naval base, how convenient. And now the SOB had the gull to ask for a new and lighter sentence in order to give them the necessary info to track down and recover the weapons. This story was getting a bit old, but he guessed that USA's enemies were paying good money for weapons that were later used against it.

It was getting pretty late and most of the staff had left the building. He would have to call Col. Mackenzei the tell her to get ready to leave for Hawaii this same night.

The harder task was talking to Cmdr Rabb. He did not know all the details of the case, especially who else was involved: Meg Austin.

The admiral had seen how affected he was after Meg had unexpectedly left JAG, especially considering how close those two were.

And he had a suspicion that Harm had more than friendly feelings toward the young junior officer, and the same went for Meg but they never acted on it because they would never break navy rules, they both valued their careers.

And he supposed that was one of the reasons that compelled Austin to accept a transfer back to weapons. She had done well for her career, if she had stayed at Jag she would have never made Commander in such a short time. But working secret missions with Navy Intel could bring you a rapid advancement through the ranks and also a Purple Heart and Navy Cross. AJ could only imagine what type of missions they were.

It was one of those missions that had her meeting Anderson and changing her life for good.

He was shocked to find out that in the course of a year she got married and than became a widow. And all thanks to Captain Anderson.

If he was shocked, he could imagine Rabb's reaction. And that is why he had to tell him tonight so that the shock subsided and not have a heart attack in the morning when he will see Cmdr Austin walk through the bullpen.

Getting his cover AJ left his office and passed Tiner on his way out, "Mr. Tiner, time to close shop" said AJ.

"Yes, sir" replied Petty Officer Tiner, "Have a nice evening sir"

"I doubted" said AJ with a resigned voice, "You wouldn't happen to know at what time Cmdr Rabb had left the office, Mr. Tiner?"

"About an hour ago sir, he was working late trying to sort out all the papers on his desk. Apparently he could not find PFC Stalks deposition for the Young case," replied Tiner with a knowing look.

"That's a first" said AJ with raised eyebrows. They all knew how "allergic" Cmdr Rabb was to paperwork and that was why his desk was always in a mess. "And you wouldn't know if he was intending to go out or go straight home?" asked AJ looking at his watch. He changed his mind about talking to him tonight, it was rather late.

"Straight home sir" replied Tiner, "Do you want me to call him sir?", he knew that something important was going on considering all the calls the Admiral had received all evening and also the lateness of the hour .

"Yes, tell him I want to see him tomorrow first thing in the morning and by that I mean at 08:00 a.m." said AJ sternly

"Yes, sir" said Tiner already picking up the phone.

"Good night Mr. Tiner" said AJ leaving.

"Good night sir" replied Tiner.

**22:45, Harm's apartment.**

Harm had only arrived at home when his phone rung, it was Mac telling him that she and Mic had to leave ASAP for Pearl Harbor for Anderson case. She was looking forward to spending the weekend in a paradise island and her "fiancée" was going with her. He had the feeling that Mac only called him to rub it in.

His relation with Mac had always been an emotional roller-coaster. He cared about her, she was a good partner and a good friend, and he even had a romantic interest in her but he was coming to realize that sort of relationship could never work between them.

He was tired, emotionally tired but he was determined to make some changes in his life. In the last couple of months he had come to the painful conclusion that none of his passed relationships would have worked because he was still in love with HER, ever since he met her but he was scared of those feelings. And it took him 5 years and a stream of failed relationships to finally see it. He never felt for another woman what he felt for her, for one Meg Austin.

Harm slowly got up from the couch and went to the bookshelf and picked up a book.

It was Johannes Kepler, 'Laws of Planetary Motion'.

Harm had a soft smile on his face as looked at the dedication,

"This is where I read that Navy pilots make the best astronauts.

Hope you get your chance to become the first lawyer in space.

Take care of yourself and live your life to the full.

Happy birthday, Harm!

Love, Meg"

He still remembered the day she had said those words to him, they had flown to Vanderberg, to investigate the death of Cmdr Atkins, in a tomcat. Meg always loved to fly with him whenever they got the chance. Even that flight was Meg's doing, as he later found out from Chegwidden. She had "negotiated" with the Admiral until he authorized the flight. And than 3 days later she had given him the book as a birthday present.

But the book wasn't the only present she had given him. All day long Meg had taken care of him, took care of all his paperwork (she was doing that every day anyway), got him the coffee and kept Krennick away from him. The biggest surprise had come in the evening. She called him pretending that she had some problems with her car and that she needed some help. So he went to pick her up from the restaurant where she supposedly was on a date, but when he got there he was left speechless. She was waiting for him in a beautiful red dress, along with his mother and grandmother.

She had told him that she hated seeing him so down lately and so she had called Trish and Sarah and told them about her plan to cheer him up. She managed to somehow find tickets on a last minute plane and than picked them up from the airport.

They had spent a wonderful evening, it was probably one of the best birthdays he has had. And it was amazing how well the women got along, even after all those years his mother still asks him if he had ever met Meg again. But the answer was always a sad "no".

Harm went back to the couch and flipped through the book until he found what he was looking for.

It was a picture of the 4 of them taken that same evening. He was standing next to Meg and his mother. He hadn't looked at that picture in a long time. He even thought about throwing it away after she had left Jag so abruptly without saying goodbye, but he never could.

He had been angry with her for leaving without a word, for never calling him back or answering his calls, but the more he thought about it the more he came to realize it was probably the best move for her career and also realized that she had already said her goodbyes the last time he saw her. He just hadn't realized it back then.

Harm closed his eyes to let the memories invade his mind.

It happened some weeks after Diane's murder case, he just had come back from a 5 day leave. It was Saturday morning and he wanted to invite Meg for dinner and a movie at his place that evening but he wasn't feeling so great. By the time evening came he was feeling really bad and called Meg to tell her they had to do dinner and movie some other time.

"What's wrong, you don't sound so good?" Meg had asked with a worried voice.

"I'm fine, just a little tired don't worry" he had replied.

"Yeah right. Look Harm I'm going to come anyway, after I make sure that you really ok I'm going to get out of your hair" Meg had told him.

He knew she would say that, Meg could always tell when something was wrong with him.

When Meg arrived he was feeling really hot.

"Jesus Harm, you're burning up. We need to take you to a hospital" she had said with a hand on his forehead.

"No, no hospitals. You know I hate them. I'll just take a pill and go to bed, I'll be fine", said Harm in a whiny voice.

He would never admit it to anyone but he was enjoying Meg's touch even through his fever.

"Ok fine. But I'm staying with you and you will do what I say, otherwise I will take you to the hospital. Do I make myself clear Lt Cmdr?" Meg had said with a stern voice.

"Yes ma'am", Harm had answered with a mock salute.

"Ok, let's get you in the shower we need to get your fever down. If you feel dizzy just lean on me" she had said guiding him to his bathroom. "Now take your shirt and pants off" she had said while she was helping him get out of his clothes.

"Lt, are you trying to take advantage of me?" Harm had asked trying to give her one of his signature grins.

"Only in your wettest dreams sailor" she had answered already pushing him under the cold shower.

He always thanked God that she could not see the effect her touches and her words were having on him.

Trying to reach for the tap that was behind Harm, she had slipped and involuntarily pushed him into the tile wall and getting wet herself.

"Shit this is cold" she had screamed holding tightly onto Harm and closing her eyes.

Having her so close to him and looking the way she did all wet, Harm felt even hotter and tingles all over his body and he knew it wasn't for the fever. Taking advantage that her eyes were closed and that her lips were parted because of the shock from the cold water hitting her skin, he did the one thing he always has wanted to do: he kissed her.

The moment his lips touched hers he felt like the world had stopped. And on instinct he drew her even closer to him and deepened the kiss. He figured he could always blame it on the fever. He was afraid that Meg would push him away but he was surprised that she responded to the kiss.

He didn't know for how long they've been kissing but Meg was the one that pushed away when she started shivering.

"We should get out of here or we'll both get sick", she said closing the water and trying not to slip again. "Do you feel any better?" she had asked him wrapping a towel around his shoulders without looking at him, and touching his face to check if the fever has subsided.

"Yes, much better", he finally answered. "You should get out of those wet cloths, or you'll get sick as well"

"I will, but first let's get you dried of and out of those wet shorts", she said getting him out of the bath room and into the bedroom. "I'll get some dry cloths you just sit here", she said while she was helping him dry of with another towel.

He loved the way she was taking care of him, and most of all he was enjoying her soft touch. He watched her while she was looking through his well organized closet to look for a couple of t-shirts and pants.

"Here you go. Think you can manage while I go back in there and get changed?" she had asked pointing to the bathroom.

When he nodded she went into the bathroom leaving him alone to change. When she came back she was wearing one of his navy t-shirts and a pair of running shorts, her wet hair combed and pulled to the back. She looked breathtaking and he could not stop from staring at her.

She was oblivious to all that, she was preoccupied by getting him in bed, cleaning the water markings from the floor.

"Ok, all done. I'm going to go in the kitchen and make you some juice and some soup. Now open" she had said giving him a spoon of some fowl tasting syrup taken from his medicine cabinet.

"Stop being such a baby Harm it doesn't taste that bad" she scolded him when he tried to duck his head. "If you don't like the way I'm taking care of you we can always go to the hospital, your choice" she said with crooked smile.

"Fine, you win" he said with a resigned voice, swallowing the syrup and making a face.

"Good boy. Now I'm going to get you that soup, you need a lot of fluids to help you with that fever" she said leaving for the kitchen

15 minutes later she was back with a bowl of warm soup and a glass of juice. And also had a bowl where she had soaked a pair of his socks and a small towel, it smelled fowl.

"What the hell is that?" he had asked her, while she was putting on the socks for him.

"It's vinegar, it helps bring down your temperature. Here put this on your forehead" she said handing him the small towel. "I know it smells bad but it helps a lot" she said looking at him with soft smile on her face.

"You're right it feels better" he said after o couple of minutes. "Thanks Meg, you're a wonderful friend", he told her giving her one of his signature smiles.

"No problem, glad I can help" she said with a lovely smile, "Now let's get some fluids in your body", she sad sitting on the side of his bed and helping him with a bowl of soup. She had spent the whole night taking care of him and talking to him.

She had fallen asleep and he remembered that at one point she turned around and cuddled next to him, and it was a wonderful feeling. After some minutes of watching her sleeping form and holding her close, he fell asleep as well.

When he woke up he was afraid that it was just a dream that he had been hallucinating because of the fever. But then he heard her in the kitchen.

"Morning sleepyhead, feeling any better", she asked him from the doorway a sweet smile on her face. She was wearing her clothes

"Morning", he replied with a big smile on his face. "Thank you for everything Meg, you really didn't have to do all that"

"It was my pleasure Harm, you are my friend and it was the least I could do", she told him with a soft voice. "I should be going, I have some things to do", she said starting to bite her lip nervously.

"Meg, don't worry I'll be fine. Go and do whatever you have to do, you don't have to baby sit me. I don't have a fever anymore and feel much better" he said getting up form the bed.

"Ok, if you're sure, but I'll call you a little bit later. I have made you a light breakfast, lots of juices and got you some medicines from the pharmacy. Oh, and also I got you a vegetarian lasagna in case you get hungry later", she said while he was following her to the door.

"Meg slow down, my brain is still trying to process al you have said", Harm said laughing.

"Sorry", she said with a little blush.

"Meg you are the best friend a guy could have. Go and I'll see you tomorrow at the office", he said giving her a kiss on her cheek.

"Harm, I…" she started but than stopped, looking at him with sad eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking intently at her putting his hands on her shoulders.

He could see that something was bothering her, he thought that it must be for the kiss they had shared the previous evening. He started to curs himself for letting his emotions take over his common sense. The last thing he wanted to do was to make her uneasy or lose her friendship.

"Meg if it's about the kiss, I'm sorr..." he could not finish as she put a finger on his lips

"Don't worry it's not about that", she said in a rush, a little blush gracing her cheeks. "It was not your fault, you were not feeling quite yourself and I did respond to it even though I knew better. So let's just forget it, ok?" she said boldly.

That was why he loved her, she was straight up. She didn't let anything hanging, that would later get in the way and make things awkward between them.

If only she knew that he would never regret or forget that kiss. He knew that being his junior officer he could never have that kind of relationship with her, but maybe in the future…

"Than what's wrong", he asked

"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate all you have taught me, you've been the best partner a junior officer could have, and also one of my dearest friends. I want you to know that I'll always treasure your friendship", she said looking deep into his eyes.

Harm was looking at her with a frown. "Did you get my fever Lt", he asked with a mock voice, placing his hand on her forehead.

"Ha, ha, very funny Harm", replied Meg with a small laugh

"Well it got you to laugh, didn't it?" he asked. "Now get out of here and I'll see you at work. And don't worry about me, I'll be fine", he said opening the door for her.

"Good bye Harm", she said giving him a hug and a kiss, leaving for the stairs.

Little did he know that that was the last time he would see her. When he went into their office Krennick had told him that she was transferred back to Weapons.

Harm heard the phone ringing and with a sigh he reached for the receiver, "Rabb"

"Cmdr Rabb, sorry to disturb you at this late hour, this is Petty Officer Tiner, The Admiral asked me to call and inform you that he wants you in his office tomorrow morning at 08:00 ASAP", said Tiner

"Did something happen Tiner?" Harm asked frowning

"Not that I know of sir, although the admiral has been receiving calls from State and from Pearl Harbor all evening" said Tiner

"Ok Tiner, thank you and good night", said Harm

"Good night sir", replied Tiner.

Harm was thoughtful. "It must have something to do with the case Mac was working on" he said to himself. All he knew was that a Captain Anderson has requested a reduced sentence in order to cooperate in the case of the stolen weapons from SEATAC.

He picked took one last look at the photo, tracing Meg's face with his finger. All those memories that had invaded him that evening determined him to make a decision. He would try to find out where she was and try to get in contact with her, if only to remake their friendship. He was certain that a woman like Meg would most likely be married with kids.

He put the picture in the book and than took the book to its place. He than headed for the bathroom to take a shower and than go to get some sleep.

He knew that tomorrow will be a long and difficult day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**08:30, JAG Headquarters, Washington D.C.**

Harm was in a hurry, he knew that the Admiral would have his head especially when Tiner had told him in not so many words to be in the Admiral's office at 08:00 sharp.

He was also tired. He had woken up several times over the night all covered in sweat, from the nightmares. It hadn't happened in a long time, but it was the same dream. She was calling his name, begging him to save her but when he found her, she was lying in a pool of blood. He didn't know who she was. But when he turned her around to see who it was he was horrified: it was Meg. And that is when he would wake up in sweat.

Just when he was about to enter his office he heard the Admiral's angry voice calling him "Commander I want to see you in my office yesterday".

Harm winced when he heard him, he knew the Admiral will chew him out. Tiner saluted him also giving him a sympathetic look.

When he reached the Admiral's office he saw that the door was open and that the Admiral was talking on the phone.

Harm took in a deep breath and entered closing the door and waited until the Admiral finished his conversation.

"Yes, I understand" the Admiral replied annoyed replacing the receiver.

He looked at Harm who was standing attention and could see that he was tired, his anger subsided a little. He knew that the Cmdr had some rough times ever since he returned to JAG.

"Cmdr Rabb reporting as ordered sir", said Harm.

"At ease Cmdr", said the Admiral. "The reason I called you in here Cmdr is to discuss something very delicate concerning a case" started the Admiral walking in front of Harm, his arms behind his back.

Harm was surprised that the Admiral didn't bite his head off because of his lateness but instead seamed a little preoccupied. Something important must be happening.

"You already must know that Lt Col MacKenzei and Cmdr Brumby have left last night for Pearl Harbor for the Anderson case. You must also know the outlines of the case" said the Admiral stopping in front of Harm and looking him straight in the eyes.

"Yes sir", replied Harm.

"What you don't know is that I have assigned you and Lt Roberts to help the Cmdr that is coming from Pearl Harbor to negotiate with Anderson" said the Admiral taking a deep breath. This was getting even harder but it had to be done. "I won't go into detail right now, the Cmdr will give you all the necessary details, what I am going to tell you is that Anderson is guilty for the death of this Cmdr's husband, and that you know both her and her husband", finished the Admiral.

"How so sir?" asked a confused Harm. This was getting weird by the minute and he didn't like it. His heart started to beat faster by the minute.

"The Cmdr is your formed partner Meg Austin and her husband was the late Lt Cmdr Carmichael", finished the Admiral looking at a very stunned Cmdr Rabb.

Harm could not believe his ears, he felt his head spinning. He could not comprehend what the Admiral had just told him. Meg has been married and her husband had been Bruce Carmichael an ex- friend of his, the same man that was responsible for Meg being shot in the head by Hemlock, the assassin.

He had heard scuttlebutt that Bruce had died about 4 years ago and he had felt sorry, after all they had been friends once. But he could not believe that his sweet Meg has been married to him, he felt a little envy. Bruce had married the one woman he would have wanted to marry himself. The strange thing was that seven months after Meg had left JAG he had encountered Bruce at a dinner party thrown by some mutual friends. Bruce had approached him and asked if he could talk to him concerning Meg. When Harm had said they had nothing to talk about and had tried to walk away, Bruce had grabbed his shoulder and turned Harm towards him. He than had told him "It's too bad you let her go Harm, I can see you still love her and I believe she loved you too".

He always thought that conversation to be strange but now he finally understood it. But what hit him most were the last words Bruce had told him: "I believe she loved you too". Could it have been true? Could she have been in love with him?

Harm was brought to the present by the Admiral's voice "Cmdr do you feel alright?" the Admiral asked concerned.

"Yes sir." Harm replied trying not to sound too affected but he easily realized that he could not fool the Admiral. "No sir. I'm just a little shook up", he finally replied.

The Admiral had smiled a little at the admission. It must have really hit him hard if he was willing to admit it in front of him. He knew Rabb was no mean feat.

"Have a seat Mr Rabb", the Admiral said indicating the chair and than sitting himself next to Harm.

"I understand you very well Cmdr that is why I wanted to tell you before Cmdr Austin arrived here today. She had been through some rough times over the last years and now she will need all the help we can give her. It will not be easy for her to face the man that killed her husband" the Admiral said with a sigh looking at Harm.

"No it will not sir", Harm finally replied with a sad voice. It saddened him that Meg had to go through all of that, he could only imagine how much it must have hurt her. But his heart also skipped a beat at the thought of seeing her again after all these years.

"That is why I want you to help her in any way you can Cmdr. I know that you always felt reluctant to talk about her and I don't claim to know why but I want you to put all that aside" said the Admiral with a stern voice.

"You don't have to ask sir. All that had passed. Meg….ah…Cmdr Austin was my partner and my friend and I will do anything that's in my power to help her", replied Harm determined voice.

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear", said the Admiral. "The Cmdr will brief you and Mr. Roberts on the case, she knows first had all the details and also the defense counsel. State and Navy Intel will also be sending someone to assist you" the Admiral finished getting up from the chair.

"When will she arrive sir", asked Harm also getting up.

"She will be arriving in about an hour", replied the Admiral looking at the clock. "That will be all Cmdr".

"Ay, sir", Harm said turning on his heels.

"And Cmdr", said the Admiral before Harm could close the door. "Try not to scare her off, I'm still trying to steal her back from Admiral Smith, and it wouldn't work if she gets scared about who she would have to work with if she should come back", the Admiral finished with a crooked smile.

"I'll try sir", Harm answered back with a glint in his eyes and than closed the door.

Harm was walking to his office in a daze with a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

He saw Bud coming towards him. The Lt didn't have time to say anything to him as he cut him of "Not now Bud, we'll talk later", and than closed the door behind him leaving a very stunned Bud Roberts in his wake.

"Tiner, did something happen to the Cmdr?'' he asked the Petty Officer.

"All I know is that the Admiral called him into his office and told me that they should not be disturbed", replied Tiner.

"Thanks Tiner", Bud said heading for his desk. By the way the day was beginning it seamed it was going to be a long one. He would find out what was going on after lunch, now he had to help Cmdr Turner with Col Mackenzei's caseload.

Harm was walking around his office unable to sit or to do anything. He was also excited and a little scared of meeting Meg again. It had been 5 years since they had seen each other and a lot of things have happened, they were changed people. "Well I guess will find out soon enough" he said to himself while he was trying to sort out the papers on his desk. It wouldn't do to have her see the mess his desk was in, he knew he would never live down the jokes she would make at his expense. He had a broad smile on his face remembering all the banter that went between them when they were partners. He really missed that and also the way she would always have his back no matter what trouble he got them into. He was still amazed at they were able to communicate what they were thinking only by looking at each other.

But he also remembered her fiery temper when he really pissed her of. He always forgot that beyond that angelic look of hers stood a Texan tomboy. He may have been her senior officer but Meg was not afraid to stand up to him, especially through the last months of their partnership.

And their friendship outside the office was a very strong one. He was never able to have that king of friendship with any other woman until Meg came into his life, and that was why he had been afraid to admit the true feelings he had for Meg because he was afraid that by doing that he could lose that friendship.

Sitting himself in the chair he started remembering the last prank he had played on her and how she had reacted to it. Harm started laughing as the memories came back.

When she had been recovering after her coma, he had seen that a certain young and handsome doctor started not so subtly to court her but Meg had brushed him of. Harm had felt very jealous in the beginning but seeing that she didn't pay attention to the doctor that jealousy subsided and was replaced by his more giddy side.

He had started telling the doctor that Meg had asked him to inquire after the possibilities of having "breast surgery", because she was to shy to ask him herself and than he gave the doctor her phone number.

When the doctor asked to talk to Meg privately she already knew that he had been up to something.

After she had left the doctor's office with a beet red face, the only thing she had told him was "You'll pay for this".

And for two weeks she had pretended to go on dates with the doctor and talk on the phone with him. But it had never occurred to him until the very end that those calls were made only when Harm was at ear's reach.

One day when they were working late at the office he had witnessed one of those calls. She had told the doctor that she would be calling him back at about 7 to tell him if the date was still on. The curiosity got the better of Harm and at 7 he called Meg pretending to be Dr. George. What he didn't know was that all those phone calls were phony ones. Meg had someone at the office call her and pretend to be the doctor.

So Harm went down in the garden in front of their office to make sure no one heard him. He called Meg and discussed all the details of the supposed date, gulping when Meg had told him that she had enjoyed all that happened between them on their last date. He was about to ask Meg to refresh his memory when he felt cold water dropped on his head. When he had looked up, he saw Meg at the window of their office, with a large vase in her hands laughing hard. When he went back into their office he found her sitting at her desk with a "innocent smile" on her face asking him if he enjoyed his late walk in the garden and than finished by telling him that they were finally even. She had planed something else to pay him back but than thought of taking advantage of the situation that presented itself. Even to this day he hadn't known what her initial plan was but maybe he'll have the opportunity to find out.

Just thinking about the good times he and Meg had, made him feel better. He was also curios to see if she still was as beautiful as he remembered her, and that thought made his heart go faster.

Looking at his watch and seeing that he still had time before Meg would arrive, he decided to go and get some coffee for the both of them. He passed Bud and Harriet on his way leaving them both with open moths at the sudden change of his mood.

They would soon find out who the "culprit" for that change was.

This chapter is a little shorter than the rest. But I still hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**09:35, JAG Headquarters, Washington D.C.**

Cmdr Meg Austin was standing outside the building of her old workplace feeling very nervous. "You would think that working undercover for Navy Intel would help you get over nerves, but all it could get you would be bullets in your ass", she said sarcastically to herself.

She was nervous about meeting all the people that she used to work with and especially Admiral Chegwidden, whom she looked up to like a father and…Harm.

All during the flight from Honolulu she had played all possible scenarios in her mind regarding their meeting but had arrived to the conclusion that she'll play by ear. She'll have to see what his reaction would be. She just hoped he wasn't too angry at her. She will have to apologies for never keeping in touch and just see how she could avoid telling him the real reason, Harm could always tell when she was lying or avoiding a question.

She just hoped to God that her heart won't betray her the moment she saw those kind hazel eyes and that handsome smile of his.

So she took a deep breath and walked in.

Meg walked slowly through the common room. Looking around she could not see any familiar faces "It's been 5 years, what do you expect Meg", she thought. The guard at the main door has directed her towards Harm's new office and now that she was standing in front of it she felt even more nervous than before. "You can do this Meg, what is the worse that could happen? Give you the cold shoulder…" she said to herself wrinkling her nose. She had reached the conclusion that Allison had been right a few days ago when she had told her to take the bull by the horns, and settle this one way or the other.

As she went up to his door she was a little disappointed when she saw that he wasn't in his office. She took a deep breath and leaned her hand against the edge of the doorway.

She hesitated for a second before walking into the small office. She smiled as she recognized some of Harm's things: the model of the yellow biplane, his law degree, the large mess on his desk. "I suppose some things would never change" she thought to herself as she shook her head slightly. She stepped farther into the office and put her briefcase next to an extra chair that was pilled with files and laid her cover gingerly on top of those files. She walked around the small office, very much aware of the distinct smell of Harm's cologne and his beloved cigars. She walked to the wooden shelves by his desk and gently picked up the photograph of Harm and his father. She studied closely and noticed the strong resemblance between the two Rabb men.

Harriet walked into the common area, carrying a file that Commander Turner had requested. Passing by commander Rabb's office she noticed a woman inside. She frowned slightly and walked towards the open door. "Can I help you ma'am", she asked the tall blonde officer that was holding a picture frame in her hand.

Meg whirled around at the sound of another person's voice and quickly replaced the picture in its rightful place. "Oh, uh…I was looking for commander Rabb…"

Harriet took a look around for a second, "He was supposed to be back by now. Is he expecting you ma'am?" Harriet looked at the woman with curious eyes. She was a beautiful woman, with a distinct posture. She was a navy commander with many awards and decorations, but didn't give the impression of self importance or arrogance that other officers gave when they are around lower-ranking officers. She could see the gentleness in the commander's eyes and the warm smile she had on her face as she was coming out of Harm's office.

"Not exactly, I'm here for a case", Meg said getting out of Harm's office toward the young Lt. "I used to work here a while back and I thought I should say hello to the commander before I went to the Admiral's office", she finished standing in front of Harriet.

"Well ma'am he went out to get some coffee…" started Harriet but stopped when she saw her husband coming towards them. "Bud, did you see commander Rabb?"

Bud was about to answer when he saw how was standing in front of him. "Lt. Austin! I mean commander" he said immediately correcting his mistake as he saw the three bars on Meg's uniform. "It's nice to see you ma'am".

"Hello Lt Roberts, its nice to see you too", said Meg with a small smile as she was shaking Bud's hand.

At Harriet's frowned look, Bud clarified "Commander Austin is Commander Rabb's former partner and the one that recommended me at JAG". "Commander Austin this is my wife, Lt. Harriet Roberts", he finished indicating Harriet.

Meg's face light up at hearing that. "Well Lt. my congratulations, you have done well for yourself", she said looking at Bud and than addressed Harriet "Nice to meet you Lt. and just between the two of us you have my condolences", she said with a wicked grin on her face as she shook Harriet's hand.

"Nice to meet you too ma'am and thank you", Harriet replied laughing at the little joke the commander gave, and also at the dumbfounded look her husband was giving them.

"You can extend those condolences to the rest of us commander", said Admiral Chegwidden with a glint in his eyes as he came towards them. "As you were", he said to them as the three of them stood attention in front of a CO. "Nice to see you again commander, it's been a long time", he said.

"Nice to see you too, sir", said Meg shaking the hand the Admiral has extended. "Indeed it's been a long time, but I'm glad to be back, even under these circumstances", she finished.

"Yes, I wished the circumstances were more different", he said a little saddened. "Well, shall we go into my office? I think we have a lot to talk about" he said gesturing with his hand towards his office.

"Yes sir", Meg replied following her ex-CO.

"Mr. Roberts I believe commander Turner is waiting for you to go in court", he said turning towards Bud. "And when commander Rabb arrives from wherever he disappeared to, tell him to come to my office Lt", he finished addressing Harriet.

"Yes sir", Harriet and Bud replied in one voice and went about their business.

Entering the Admiral's office Meg felt like she went back in time, remembering all those times that she and Harm had been called in his office to be "chewed out" for all the trouble and hair loss they had given him.

The Admiral saw the small smile that was on Meg's face and asked her, "Brought back good memories commander?"

"Yes sir", she smiled at the Admiral.

"Good. Now back to our business at hand. Admiral Smith told you you'll be working with Lt. Roberts and Cmdr Rabb? He asked looking intently at Meg to see how she would react but as usual the young woman didn't flinch. He always admired her ability to hide her emotions, that was probably why she had been so successful in all those missions she had with NI.

"Yes sir", she replied "And I wanted to thank you for all that you are doing, Captain Krennick told me all about the help you and Admiral Smith are giving for this case"

"You don't have to thank me Commander, I am just doing my job. I want this case solved as smoothly as possible", he replied. "You'll have the Cmdr and the Lt at your disposal after they get finished with their 11 o' clock appearance in court for their closing arguments, that will give you enough time to settle in." he finished.

"Yes, thank you sir", Meg replied.

"Now tell me how's Pearl Harbor?" he asked indicating Meg a chair while he leaned against his desk with his arms crossed.

"Well you know I've been stationed there for the last six months, after I finished my last mission with NI, the cases are not as interesting as the one's you used to give us, but it's a breath of fresh air being back in court after years of secret missions. Even tough you may not believe it I actually enjoy working with Captain Krennick again" she finished smiling wryly.

"I believe you have no choice now that she's part of your family", the Admiral gave a little chuckle, still being amazed at the turn that things have took over the past years.

In the same time Harm was just walking into his office with two cups of coffee in his hands when he noticed the familiar smell of lilies and knew that she had been there. Looking around his office he noticed the briefcase that sat near a chair and also the cover that was on top of the files and his heart started to beat faster.

Just when he was about to go and look for her, Harriet came hurrying towards him "Sir, Admiral Chegwidden wants you in his office" she said. Noticing that Harm was looking around for someone she began to smile and finally told him, "Commander Austin's with the Admiral, sir".

"Thanks Harriet", he said starting towards the Admiral's office.

He could not remember the last time he felt this nervous about meeting someone again, but this wasn't just anyone. It was Meg, the woman that held a very special place in his heart and that would probably change his life, hopefully for the better.

Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and entered the office when he heard a gruff "Come in".

"Commander Rabb reporting as ordered, sir", he said looking ahead but he could see Meg's smiling face as she stood to his right in her dress blues. When he came in the room he only saw her back but he could tell she was still as beautiful, more slender than he remembered and with longer hair that was pulled in a bun at the nape of her head.

"At ease, glad you could finally join us commander. I believe no introductions are needed", the Admiral said moving his hand in Meg's direction.

"I'm not so sure, sir", said Meg looking directly at Harm who was just staring at her, "Remember me, Commander?" she finished, her rosy lips turned into an impish smile. Harm was trying to remember if she always had such beautiful blue eyes.

"You can always jump into the sea from a helicopter, just to refresh my memory", Harm said with an ironic smile on his face.

"Maybe that way you could remember that it was you that jumped from 50ft, sir", she replied.

"What was I supposed to do, sit around and just look at you?" he asked with a bigger grin on his face.

Harm was amazed that even after all this time she still wanted to be the one with last word. He had really missed her.

"There are always people looking at me, sir", she grinned back.

"And I can't say I blame them, Meg", he said

"Sorry to interrupt this repartee, but seeing that no introductions are necessary let's get on with our business", the Admiral said with an amused voice. "Anderson will be arriving Monday at 13:30 and our main objective is to find out who got the missiles and stop them before they leave the country. What we know for sure is that they are still on US soil and that all the leads take us back to Anderson. That's all Navy Intel were willing to tell us, so will have to work with that for now. They want this rapped up quickly and they don't care what we have to give Anderson in exchange for the information, but I'm not going to let that happen," he said with an angry voice.

"We may have to sir", Meg said in a determined voice. "He's not going to tell us anything until he is sure he gets what he wants, he may even ask to be a part of the recovery mission just so that he would not divulge the whole information and thus make sure that when he comes back and if he comes back he has his way", she finished with anger in her voice.

"In other words, he may try to play with us", said Harm looking at her. He did not like what he heard or the icy look in Meg's eyes. He could tell that this was affecting her and he could not blame her.

"Well, that is why we have our best teams in this", said the Admiral looking at the clock. "I think we have to cut this meeting short, I expect you to be fully prepared for Monday and get me good results. Dismissed"

"Ay, ay sir", they replied saluting and heading for the door.

Chegwidden shook his head when he heard the crackdown laughter that came from the other side of the door.

"Do really think that I could not remember you, Meg?" he asked her while he was releasing her from the crushing hug he gave her.

"Well, if you can remember Maria Elena…" Meg rolled her eyes trying to remember the woman's name.

"Carmelita Moreno Gutierrez", he finished with a grin on his face.

"Well if you can remember her, then maybe you can remember me as well. My name is simpler", she said as she walked beside him.

Whoever saw them like that would probably wonder if time had really passed. It was a relief for the both of them that they seemed to click back instantly. They would have time to clarify all that happened in the past, but for now they would just enjoy the new found complicity.

"Your name is the only thing that's simple about you, Meg", he whispered in her ear making her shiver a little. "I got us each a cup of coffee, hopefully it's still a little warm", he said closing the door to his office.

"Well, thank you commander that was very kind of you" she said taking some files from a chair and sitting in front of Harm's desk. "It's really good to see you again Harm"

"It's good to see you too Meg", he said handing her the coffee and getting a smug smile on his face when he saw Meg's expression.

"I can believe you remember how I drink my coffee", she said giving him a smile that almost stopped his heart.

"I remember a lot more than you give me credit for" he replied. "So when did you get your promotion to Cmdr?" he asked looking at her uniform and also seeing all her decorations. He realized that he was probably lucky to see her alive.

"About 6 months ago when I got transferred to Pearl Harbor", she said taking a sip of her coffee. "I heard that you went back flying".

"Yes but I could not keep my wings open for long" he said with a certain sadness in his voice.

"Well at least you got to do what you love most, even if it was for a short while" she said with a tender look in her sapphire blue eyes. Harm knew that Meg was the only woman in his life that understood what flying had meant to him. "Fighting in court may not be as exciting as fighting in the air, but can bring the same results. And anyway in a few years even the F-14 may go into retirement" she finished with a glint in her eyes.

"Oh, come on Meg" he said with a scandalized voice, "We are talking about a supersonic, interceptor, twinjet, fighter aircraft. I would give them at least 20 more years of service"

"I'd bring that number down to 6 years" she said looking serious.

"Six years?" he asked with an incredulous look.

"Don't forget I'm a weapons specialist Harm." she said in a voice that brooked no opposition. And Harm had learned that when Meg was certain about something it was probably right.

"Well I'm not going to argue with you on this one" he said looking at his watch. "Time for me to go, I'll see you when I come back from court" he said getting his briefcase and his cover. He turned to take one more look at her.

"Don't worry I'll be here when you come back. Good luck Harm" she said as she looked into his eyes and guessed what he was thinking

"Thanks Meg,, he said giving her his signature smile.

"Well Meg, time to get to work" she said to herself as she started to sort the paperwork that was on Harm's desk. She was amazed that he could still find things in that mess.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**13:30, JAG Headquarters, Washington D.C.**

Commander Rabb and Commander Turner were walking through the common room heading for Commander Rabb's office "I think I have that folder on my desk somewhere", said Harm.

"Yeah and would probably take us 3 days to find it buddy", said Sturgis shaking his head slightly. "Good job in court today. You really got me, I didn't see that coming. Something happened to you, you've been in a good mood all morning"

"I don't know what you are talking about", replied Harm with an impish smile as they entered his office.

"Yeah right, and I was bourn yesterd…" he stopped in mid sentence, a shocked look in his face. "Harm, what the hell happened to your office?"

Harm took a look around the office, it was all tidy and everything was in its rightful place. The mountain of papers that used to be on his desk, vanished.

"Well Sturgis, what I can tell you is that, the person that has fought my paper warfare, that has covered for me in the past, and that I have shamelessly abused, is responsible for this miracle", Harm said with melancholy heading for the file drawer. If he remembered Meg's filing system he knew exactly where to find it.

"Glad to hear I am appreciated, even if it's 5 years later", said Meg standing in the doorway with a kind smile on her face. Harm's face light up when he saw Meg and Sturgis noticed that. Now he realized the reason of Harm's good mood. And he could not blame him, being around such a beautiful and shiny person.

"Sturgis I would like you to meet Commander Meg Austin, my former partner", Harm said gesturing towards Meg, "Meg, meet another buddy of mine from the Academy, Commander Sturgis Turner"

"Pleasure to meet you again Commander", said Sturgis while kissing Meg's hand.

"The pleasure is all mine Commander", replied Meg with a big smile on her face.

"You two know each other?" asked Harm with a shocked expression.

"Yes, our paths have crossed", Sturgis said with a smile "And all I can tell you Harm is that I got my ass kicked"

"Now you are exaggerating, all I did is win a few cases", replied Meg with an innocent look on her face.

"Well if you consider 4 out of 5 just a few", he said looking at a still shocked Harm. "But I had no idea that she was the spunky partner that you and Keeter told me about, I just thought it was just a name coincidence".

"And what have you been told sir?" asked Meg with a raised eyebrow

"Well, Keeter told me you were bold enough to call him the second best navy pilot after the CAG in front of Harm", he replied with a little laugh.

"He said it not me, I just asked a question", Meg said with a nonchalant look pointing a finger in Harm's direction.

"Ok you two, enough fun at my expense. Sturgis didn't you have some cases to work on?" Harm said giving Sturgis the file.

"I can tell when I'm not welcomed anymore", Sturgis said looking at Meg. "Hope you would give me the chance to redeem myself in court Commander".

"It would be my pleasure sir", Meg replied with a smile, as Sturgis left the room.

"Small world", said Meg with a funny look in her eyes.

"Yes, too damn small for my own taste", said Harm slightly shaking his head. He knew that Meg would have probably made even sedate and reserved Sturgis to "spill the beans on him" with her butter- wouldn't- melt smile of hers. And he also knew that he would have some explaining to do the next time he saw Sturgis off work.

"Afraid I would find some dark little secret of yours?", she asked with a crooked smile.

"Very funny, Meg", he returned her smile. "Thanks for all of this. I still can't understand how you were able to clean that mess in such a short time", he finished.

"Let's just say I had some training from working with a certain pilot who was allergic to paperwork as you are", she said with a laugh.

"Was that the pilot you used to date while in Texas?", he asked with a mock smile.

"No, I never got the chance to date this pilot", she said biting her lip so she would not burst out laughing at Harm's dumbfounded expression. Even though she said it in jest she would have given anything to go on a date with Harm.

Harm on the other hand was left speechless. He looked intently into her eyes and he could see that she was serious in spite of the jest. His heart started to beat faster. Has he really heard that or was it just wishful thinking on his part.

"And do you still want to date that pilot?", he asked almost holding his breath.

But just when she was about to give an answer her cell phone rang. She excused herself and answered the phone. Harm felt really disappointed that he didn't get his answer but maybe it was for the best. First they would have to get through with the case and than he'll have the whole weekend to find out what she really meant.

"Good news?" he asked after she finished the phone call.

"Yes", she answered with a big smile on her face. "Cathy just got a date to the Prom"

"Who's Cathy?" he asked raising one eyebrow. He had heard the endearments that Meg had given the caller and he felt his curiosity raising.

"It's a long story. Let's go and get on with the briefing and I promise to tell you everything after we finish" she told him as they were leaving his office to go to the conference room.

"I'm looking forward to it Meg", he said winking at her.

Four hours later Harm felt very repulsed and angry at what he had found about this Anderson. Even But seemed very affected. They couldn't believe that such a man was once a respected naval officer. And the strange thing was that after 5 years he still found a way to get back into the "spotlight". All during the briefing Harm had watched Meg's reaction. He admired her stamina. She was very professional, didn't let any emotion slip but he knew she was affected.

He also shamelessly looked her over during the briefing. She had been beautiful before but now she was stunning. He never knew anyone as radiant as Meg- whether she was in flight gear, or in Marine fatigues or in an evening gown. The time and the sun had been very kind to her, both bringing distinction to her features. No wonder all the men she had met today had turned their heads and took long glances at her. At one point she had caught him looking at her and she gave him one of her heart stopping smile.

And he swore to do everything in his power to keep that smile on her face and in his life. He would not let her walk out of his life again. He knew that she cared for him, he just had to find out if what Bruce had told him once was true and if she could feel the same again.

He was brought back from his thoughts by Meg's gentle touch. "Hey, are you alright?" she had asked touching his hand. "You seem far away".

He looked around and saw that they were alone now.

"I sent Bud home, Harriet wasn't feeling well. And anyway we are done here." she said getting up from the table and beginning gather the papers. "So are you going to tell me why you were so far away or am I invading your privacy?"

"I was thinking about my friendship with Bruce", he lied. "I'm sorry we didn't get the chance talk and try to patch things up".

"He would have liked that", said Meg with a soft voice "I never understood your fall out. He was just doing what he thought was best. He even got this crazy theory that you were in love with me and that was why you got so mad", she finished with a small laugh.

"If you only knew, Meg", he thought to himself.

"I told him that you are always so protective and loyal with your closest friends", she said with a smile.

"Meg…I have a personal question", Harm said looking at her.

"I loved him Harm", she said already knowing what he wanted to ask. "Even if we were so different we found a way to overcome those differences and I believe we would have had a good marriage. Maybe not the best but at least we would have tried".

"I know that Meg", he said squeezing her hand. "What I wanted to ask was… do you think you would be able to love another man the way you loved him".

"No Harm", she answered looking at their hands "Every love is different. But what I know for sure is that if I fall in love again I would cherish that love with all my heart"

"I'm sure you would", he said wiping away the tear that was running down her cheek.

"Ok, enough with the sad memories. Let's get out of here", she said with a bright smile.

"Yes ma'am", he said getting up. "Where are you staying?" he asked her while they were leaving the room.

"I'm staying at the hotel across from the park", she said.

"What do you say about having a pizza at your good old partner's place", he asked with smile.

"Is Tony's place still around?" she asked walking towards the parking lot.

"It sure is. I think is a little late for chilly peppers and chorizo though. Will you settle for pepperoni and extra cheese?" he asked leading her to his car.

"No chorizo?" she asked in mock disappointment. She cocked her head and seemed to consider the dilemma seriously. "Well… I guess if you're buying…

Harm just laughed and shook his head. "I guess I'm buying if I want to sleep at all tonight. The last time you talked me into a Texas Pizza I burned a few taste buds right off my tongue".

"Getting soft Commander?" she asked with an impish grin.

"Oh, ho! Ok I'll take the challenge Commander, one Texas Pizza on me", he said stopping in front of the car.

"Harm, what happened to your 'Vette?", she asked with a frown.

"It got stolen a few years ago", he said with a sad smile "They finally found it in a chop shop, all that was left was the frame. So…I thought I should get something a little more practical…"

"Harmon Rabb jr., practical", Meg teased getting into the car.

"Not another word Meg…",he said pointing a finger at her.

Meg shrugged playfully. "What did I say?" she asked innocently.

Harm laugh heartedly and pulled out of the parking lot.

Tony's was just as Meg remembered it, a nice pizzeria owned by a nice Italian family.

Harm made his way to the counter of the cramped restaurant.

"Commander Rabb, it's been so long. You've been working to hard again", said Tony as he was shaking Harm's hand. Tony was a round Italian man with a jolly disposition. Half the fun coming to the restaurant was to see Tony.

"So what will it be Commander. Some fettuccine perhaps?", Tony asked.

"I ordered a pizza…a Texas pizza", Harm said

"Ah…good. The peppers are fresh tonight", Tony said making a kissing sound as he brought his fingers to his mouth.

Meg walked behind Harm and Tony saw her before Harm did. " Step aside", he shooed Harm away "So I can find what this lovely lady would like. The young… they have no respect anymore", he said regarding Meg

Meg giggled as Harm turned around to see who was the lady that Tony was referring to " It's ok Tony, she's with me. We're together".

"Ah…" Tony wiggled his brows wickedly. He leaned towards Meg and whispered to her conspiratorially. Of course Tony's whisper was loud enough for Harm to hear every word he said. "He brings lots of pretty girls here," he chucked a finger in Harm's direction. "But you are by far the prettiest".

Meg laughed and shot a questioning glance at Harm. He opened his mouth to protest but thought the better of it and just shrugged.

"Really?" Meg said to Tony. "So tell me about these women…"

"Ok…Nice to see you again Tony." Harm tossed a bill on the counter grabbed the pizza and steered Meg towards the door.

"Ciao Commander… bella ragazza", Tony said with a sigh.

"You know we can always eat the pizza here", Meg said snickering.

"And I could just die of embarrassment while we're at it. 'Here lies Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. USN… needled to death at an Italian restaurant' he said as he opened the passenger side door and handed Meg the pizza. "And I think we've got a bit of catching up to do before you put me six feet under, Commander".


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Meg was feeling very comfortable in Harm's company. It had been some years since she had felt this way, no one made her feel this safe, maybe with the exception of Bruce. She was just about to lean her head back and just relax for the rest of the ride when a sign caught her attention.

"Oh… Harm could we pull of here … just for a few minutes" she said with a little trembling in her voice.

Looking up, Harm noticed the sign for Arlington National Cemetery and immediately understood Meg's change of mood. He saw the weathered look that was in her beautiful eyes and felt an unbidden lump growing in his throat, he hated the idea that she had to go through all the pain that she went through.

He nodded silently and pulled of into Arlington Cemetery, got out and came around to open the passenger door for Meg. He followed a few discreet paces behind as they drew closed to the grave itself; he assumed she'd want a few moments to herself.

The white cross stood out stark and cold in the evening … like hundreds of others surrounding it, a small ocean of messengers of death and loss. Harm watched her slowly approach it, folding his arms across his chest as if to ward off a chill and waited quietly.

Meg stood silently at the grave a lump in her throat and tears brimming in her eyes. She kneeled down and reached out a hand towards the marker. With a gentle touch she brushed her fingers over the name of her husband engraved in the granite.

"Hi. It's been so long since I've been here…I've been so much time overseas and busy with work that I never got the time to come here as often as I would have wanted to. I asked your sister Julia to come visit you more often but I guess you already know that. I'm rambling ... "she thought with a sigh. " I'm sorry that I was not able to save you…but I swear that I would make them pay for what they did to you" she whispered and turned her head a little to take a little glance in Harm's direction. "Harm is here with me, he is going to help me with the case. He's such a good friend to me and never even held a grudge against me for not keeping in touch… You were right even if I was in denial. I still have feelings for him... I want you to know that I'll never forget you and I'll try to the best of my abilities to keep the promise I've made to you. Hope the next time I come here I can bring you happy news but until then I hope you and daddy will watch over us all. Love you fuzzy bear…" she finished kissing her fingers and gingerly touching the engraved name.

Behind her Harm was having is own conversation with his friend. "I'm sorry that I never came to visit you Bruce and for the way we've parted. It's funny how we've let our egos get the best of us. I hope that wherever you are you can forgive me for my passed misjudgements and I also what you to know that I will take good care of Meg" he thought to himself, feeling saddened by the lose of another friend.

He saw Meg get up from the ground and walk towards him with gentle and caring eyes, despite the tears that had fallen from them, and he realized that she knew exactly what he was thinking

"He forgave you long ago Harm" she told him in a soft almost whispery tone as her gentle hand touched his cheek lightly sending a little shiver down his spine. He just nodded unable to find his voice and they started to walk back to the car.

"Thanks for this Harm, it really meant a lot to me that you were here with me" she said standing by the car.

"Any time Meg" he said with a gentle smile on his lips as he opened the door for her.

"So what do you say if we resume our previous plan and go Chez Rabb for our pizza and our talk" he said with a dazzling smile on his face as they were pulling out of the cemetery.

"Oh, so you'll show me yours and I'll show you mine" she said with a wicked grin also feeling the need to change their mood.

Harm just laughed aloud and shook his head slightly. "How I've missed you Meg…" he admitted taking her hand in his and kissing it softly. Looking at her for a second he continued "You look great by the way".

Meg smiled at his compliment and said "And you 'sir', look like you need a lot more sleep and a little less work. Admiral Chegwidden is keeping you busy it seems".

"Hm… that's practically so" he admitted but didn't say anything more. Meg didn't need to know how stranded things had been for him ever since he had come back at JAG.

The rest of the ride was accomplished in relative silence punctuated only by a little talk they had about Harm's mother and grandmother. He knew that both women would be thrilled to see Meg again. "That is if you can convince her to stay Rabb" he thought to himself.

Arriving at his apartment building Harm saw the skeptical look Meg gave, he knew just how deceiving it could look.

Fiddling with his keys until he found the key to his apartment he took Meg's hand said "Shall we?"

"You are kidding right?" she said peering down the ominous looking alley way. "You know I'm not carrying any concealed weapons" she finished as they reached the side door of the building

Harm just shook his head a little and said "It's quite safe, trust me".

He led her up the stairs to his apartment, opened the door and let Meg go in first.

Meg was amazed at how wonderful his apartment looked. "Harm this looks amazing, it suites you" she said moving towards the kitchen counter to deposit the pizza. She felt Harm brush past her and whisper in her ear with a curious tone "You often carry around concealed weapons, Commander?". Turning her head slightly she could see that his soulful eyes had a mischievous glint as he wandered off to his bedroom, taking off his jacket.

She moved towards his bedroom door and leant against it shamelessly ogling him while he was changing, remembering the many times she had admired his lean and muscular body during their partnership. It was no wonder that all the women that had met him had fallen at his feet. With his looks and personality he could make any woman's heart melt away and she had been no exception. Kate had worn her long ago but the moment she had met him she had felt all her resolve slip away. Coming back from her reverie she finally answered him "My daddy told me to always be prepared".

Harm whirled around at the sound of her voice. Seeing her at his bedroom door made his blood go faster and realized that it was not an unbecoming image to come home to every night. Pulling his tee-shirt over his head he stopped closer to her and propped his hand on the door frame near her face. He looked her up and down in a mock search of any concealed weapons. "Prepared for what" he finished with a wicked look.

Meg swallowed hard affected by his nearness. "We should probably get started on the pizza before it gets cold" she said ducking away from him before her knees would give away.

Harm felt a little disappointed that she hadn't gone all the way with the challenge. They had played this game all through the year of their partnership and it was always Meg that pulled away not letting them cross the fine line they'd been dancing on. He'd always been thankful to her for that, but now…now he wanted her not just as a friend.

He went to the stereo to put on his favorite CD and also to distract himself from the tantalizing image that Meg created with the simple act of setting the table.

Turning around he could see the small smile that she had on her lips as she was taking a couple of diet sodas from the fridge.

"Something amusing?" he asked as he was sitting at the table.

"No, just thinking" she answered with a little blush on her cheeks realizing that she'd been caught.

"Of?" he asked taking a bite of his pizza.

"You" she answered looking him straight in his eyes. "I was wondering how many hearts you have broken over the years?

"And why would you think I've broken any hearts?' he asked with a glint in his eyes. He was also curious what she thought about him.

"Come on Harm, you know that with your looks, smile and personality you make every woman that meets you, fall over" she finished with an impish smile.

"That may be Meg, but over the passing years I only got my own heart broken" he answered with a sigh.

"Sorry Harm I didn't mean to sadden you" she said squeezing his hand.

"It's alright Meg" he said waving a hand in dismissal.

"But what about you? Anyone waiting for you back in Hawaii?" he asked holding his breath a little.

"No one. After Bruce died I just thrown myself into my work and never had time or felt the need to date again. And besides all the other men I came in contact with were either on one of Navy Intel's watch list or in my same chain of command" she finished with a chuckle.

"I guess you are right on that part" he said chuckling himself. "I still can't believe that you worked with Navy Intel so many years."

"It wasn't easy, but believe it or not I actually enjoyed it despite the dangers" Meg answered taking a sip of her soda.

"Enjoyed it more than working at JAG and with me?" he asked putting a hand to his heart .

"No way, I enjoyed the trouble you always got us into. It was good practice otherwise how do you think I would have been able get out alive from all those missions as a spook" she said laughing.

"Very funny Mrs. Bond" he smiled one of his dazzling smiles. "Since the first day I met you, you were so career driven…"

Meg smiled at the thought of their first assignment on the Tigershark. "You were so mean to me..."

"I was not!" he protested good-naturedly.

"Oh yeah! You were the one that accused me of having a suicide complex." Meg said.

"Only because you jumped from 30ft of the deck" he replied.

"That was because you didn't give me a chance" she replied back.

"Meg there was no way that you would have made it onto that sub in that kind of weather. Even an experienced officer couldn't have made it in that storm…" he argued.

"Well, you should have given me a chance!" Meg said with a pout.

"I let you stay on the assignment didn't I?" Harm conceded

"After you called me a faint hearted female" she answered back.

"Ok, maybe that was a little cruel." he conceded raising his hands. "But you proved to be stronger and braver than many officers I've met over the years" he finished with a tender smile.

"We had some good times working together, didn't we?" Meg asked softly.

"Yes, I guess we did" he said staring at his can. "I miss working with you, you know" he said with a sad voice.

"You just miss the way I used to clean up after you, I've seen the state your office was in" she said with a crooked smile.

Harm chuckled "It's not just that… there was something so comfortable about us working together. I guess I just miss that".

"What about your new partner? I heard she's a Marine. I'm just surprised you two haven't killed each other yet" Meg finished noticing Harm's sad look.

"Mac's a very good lawyer and a good partner but we keep getting on each other's toes. I guess we're a little too different" he said with a sigh.

Meg was watching him intently and knew that there was something more. She was biting her lower lip trying to decide if she should ask the question or not.

"Do you love her?" she finally asked.

Harm was shocked, the question coming from left field. He could see it in her eyes that she had somehow figured out that there was more than a simple professional relationship with Mac. He thought seriously about the question and came to the same conclusion as before.

Meg felt sorry for asking him such a personal question but now that the cat was out of the bag she had no other option that to wait for his answer.

"No, at least not the way you think Meg" he finally answered. "My relationship with Mac was always a complicated one and I admit that at one point I even thought myself in love with her. But were are to different for that kind of relationship to actually end well. We are in the same chain of command and she's engaged to be married. I love her but only as a good friend nothing more" he finished with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked such a personal question." Meg said looking down at her plate.

"No Meg, don't be" he said touching her had so that she would look at him. He wanted to look her in the eyes and let her know that there was only one woman that he had a romantic interest in, and that woman was her.

Looking silently Meg thought she saw longing in his eyes and other feelings she had never seen before but dismissed them for fear it was just her eyes playing tricks on her.

"You helped me voice some truths that I have avoided months to admit even to myself" he said with a small smile softly squeezing her hand.

"Glad to be of assistance" she smiled back returning the squeeze.

"And anyway Mac is little hard headed and stubborn for my liking" he said trying to lighten the atmosphere. "But then again so was my former partner" he finished in a teasing tone.

"Are you referring to ME?" Meg asked, fainting being offended.

"Who else", he answered.

"Name one time that I was ever stubborn and hard headed", Meg challenged.

"Let's see, there was this time I told you not to go on your little dinner date with Colonel Barzan…" he said pointing a finger in her direction.

"Objection counselor, calls for speculation" Meg countered.

"Speculation?", Harm asked incredulously. "How is that speculation? I told you not to go, but you did. Hard headed and stubborn…"

"I wasn't being stubborn. I was doing whatever I thought was necessary to help our client" Meg argued.

"Whatever," Harm replied rolling his eyes. "How about the time…"

"Hey, I said to name just one time", Meg said laughing and throwing her napkin at him.

Harm laughed as well getting up and helping her clear the table. He admired the fact that in spite of what she had gone through she hadn't become bitter, that she still had her sunny personality and spunkiness which he always loved about her. He finally understood why it had hurt so much when she had left, he had lost the one person that always lit his days. No matter how down he was Meg had always found a way to make him feel better. And now more than ever he wanted to know the real reason of her leaving… especially after what he had found out when he bumped into Julia Carmichael.

…..

…..

"So, how is Cathy?" asked Harm as they were sitting on the couch.

"Do you remember Cathy Gold?" Meg asked with an amused smile on her face, knowing how he would react to what he was about to tell him.

"Of course, how could I forget that you thought that she was taken by little green men" he said in a teasing tone.

"I was just keeping my mind open to extreme possibilities" she answered with a chuckle.

"Right…" he said rolling his eyes. All of the sudden a strange idea crossed his mind "Don't tell me that you adopted her?" he said raising his eyebrows.

"No" she said with a little disappointment in her voice. "But got the next best thing, she's my favorite niece. Dan and his wife had adopted her" she finished in a cheery tone.

"Dan got married?" he asked astonished. He never got to meet Meg's big brother but form what she had told about him, he had pictured Dan as an eternal bachelor.

"Yup, 5 days after meeting his wife" Meg said with a little laugh.

"Must be some extraordinary lady?" Harm conceded still amazed.

"Remember me to send her your high compliment, the last time we talked about her you compared her with Attila the Hun" she finished with a wicked smile.

Harm was left speechless, trying hard to determine if she was serious or just playing with him. "He…he married The Dragon Lady? Is he out of his mind?" he finally asked in disbelief.

Meg laughed when she saw Harm's expression, it was a strange mixture between: horror, disbelief and even a bit of amusement.

"Allison said the same thing about him…" she said laughing even harder. "But contrary to everything we thought about this marriage, it seems pretty solid and she is great with Cathy. Told you she had a soft side" she finished nudging him with her shoulder.

"Wow, that was some news" he said shaking off his stupor.

"Tell me about it… I sometimes can't believe it myself. Things have really changed over the passed years" she conceded.

"Yes…" he said taking hold of her hand and looking straight in her blue eyes. "And I guess you already know the changes that have occurred to my life…"

Meg frowned a little not understanding what he had meant with that statement. The grip he had on her hand and the look in his eyes made her realize that he knew.

"Julia told you, hasn't she?" Meg asked a little lump forming in her throat. This was the moment she had been dreading the whole evening, the moment she would have to tell him the truth about her leaving JAG…

"That you've been calling her JAG office so that you can keep tabs on me, and that the little presents that kept appearing so mysteriously on my desk, either on my birthday or on Christmas , and that were signed "From a fiend..", were actually from you" he said more a statement than a question, hurt etched in his voice. "Why haven't you called me Meg? Why haven't you answered any of my letters? What ever the reason, I promise I won't get mad" he finished a little more tenderly, sensing her uneasiness.

He watched her pull her hand away from his firm grip and avoided looking him in the eyes. She got up from the couch and went over to stare out the window into the street lights hugging herself.

He sat on the couch silently waiting for her to answer the questions, hoping he could amend whatever he had done in the past that had hurt her so much, she hadn't felt able to keep a direct contact with him…


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The man was standing in the shadows smoking his cigar and watching the movements inside the apartment, more exactly he was watching her stand by the window. At one point thought that she had seen him but then realized that it was impossible from that distance for her to recognize him.

He had wanted to make sure that she had come, that all his plans would not be for nothing.

Very soon they will be face to face and he will finally get his revenge for all the pain and humiliation he had to endure because of her. Years of careful planning and waiting in patience for the right time will finally come into play.

"Enjoy your weekend 'Commander', it may be your last…" he said in a mocking tone as he was crushing the rest of his cigar with the heel of his boot. He took one last look in her direction and then walked away into the evening. He had a lot of details to take care before the grand meeting… he could feel the adrenalin coursing through his body only thinking about it. Revenge will be so sweet…

Looking out the window Meg could see the man that was walking away, he had something familiar about him although she could not figure out what.

Turning her thoughts back to the man that was sitting behind her on the couch, she tried hard to find the right words to tell him what has been in her heart hoping she will not make a total fool of herself.

Those feelings had sometimes made her feel guilty, especially because of Bruce. She once had asked her mother if it was possible to love two men at the same time. She had told her that, yes, it was possible to love two men at the same time but not to be IN LOVE with both of them. And she had to admit that even if she had loved Bruce very much, she had never really been in love with him. What hurt her even more and made her feel even guiltier was the fact that her husband had known that all along.

"I know you're still in love with him Meg, that's why I am asking you to make me this promise" Bruce had said taking Meg's hands into his making her look at him. "I want you to listen to me carefully and please try and understand that I do not blame you in any way and neither should you. I know very well you cannot order your heart to fall out of love with someone. I've known all of this when I asked you to marry me and I was willing to take that chance. I am in love with you and I dearly hope that in the years that will come I will be able to make you forget about him and finally fall head over heels in love with your good old husband. But…" he had stopped taking a deep breath "But if anything should happen to me…no don't… let me finish" he said putting a finger to her lips. "If anything should happen to me, promise me now that you will tell Harm how you really feel about him. I don't want you wasting your life crying for a long lost husband as I am sure you would. So promise me now Meg!" he finished in a stern voice shaking her a little.

"I…,I…,I can't do this, please don't make me do this" she has answered in a pained whisper not wanting to think about the possibility of loosing him.

"Yes you can, promise me now!" he insisted.

"Fine, I promise" she finally answered in a barely audible voice.

"Good" he said with a little relief in his voice. "As much as it pains me to admit it, Harm is the only man in this world who I would trust to take good care of you. Hopefully we will never have to part until we are both old and grey and I will be able to parade you on my arm at all the state dinners we will have to attend from now on and be the envy of all the male contingent for having such a beautiful angel at my side" he finished in good humor. He never liked putting her on the spot like that but he had to make sure she understood that he only wanted her to be happy no matter what the future hold for them both.

"So that's all I am to you? A trophy wife?" she asked in mock offence trying to lighten the atmosphere, never liking those sort of conversations.

"Remember that that was your role in this marriage of ours Mrs. Austin. I even had to take on your name…"he finished with a little chuckle tenderly kissing his wife.

Meg remembered that that evening had been the last peaceful evening she had spent with her husband before all hell broke loose. It was sort of ironic that their conversation had taken place 3 days before Bruce's death. It was like somehow he had predicted that something would happen to him.

And now here she was 5 years later, trying to keep a promise she had made to him and also to herself. Before every mission she had promised herself that if she came out of it in one piece she will try and find happiness again.

But in order to do that she had to close this chapter of her life even if at the end of it she would get even more hurt. In time, that hurt would eventually begin to fade and she would be able to get on with her life. And that chapter was Harm and the love she felt for him.

Taking a deep breath she finally spoke "You asked me why I haven't called you directly or answered any of you letters. The reason was… Well, I was scared".

"Scared of what Meg? Of me?" Harm asked in disbelief. "I may have been upset when you had left and even acted like a complete bear, as you may have found out, but you had no reason to be scared of me. For God sake Meg I thought you knew me better than that. We were best friends" he finished a little hurt etched in his voice.

"Yes I did know you better than that and I was not scared of you Harm, I was scared of what I felt for you" she said in a trembling whisper.

Harm's heart started pounding in his chest and after a few moments he asked in a trembling voice "And what did you feel for me?"

Meg swallowed hard trying hard to get past the frog that was in her throat. After what seemed an eternity to Harm she finally answered "I… did the one thing Kate had worn me before I met you. I had given into your sparkling wit and charm and have fallen in love with you".

Not hearing any reaction from Harm, she decided to continue before her courage wore out. "It's really cliché if you think about it: junior officer falls for senior officer…I never meant for it to happen but you cannot command the heart with whom to fall in love. And it didn't help too much that we seemed to be so in tune with each other. And let's not forget the attraction we tried so had to dance around". She took another deep breath trying to keep her emotions in check. "The moment I finally admitted it to myself was during the time you were taken prisoner in China. It had felt so good to finally get it out that I didn't care that I have admitted it in front of Krennick, but at the same time it made it even difficult to work alongside you. I became so afraid that at any moment I might get tempted to just give into that attraction and that would have been the end of our friendship, because I knew that what I felt for you was unrequited, and also our careers would have taken serious hits, especially yours. And I could not let that happen. So I accepted the transfer back to weapons hopping that putting some distance between us would help me forget those feelings. But unfortunately it didn't… You have no idea how hard it was for me to hear your voice everytime you called or how it hurt me when I had to throw away your letters… I know it may sound childish but it was the only way I could think of to protect my heart form getting even more hurt. to you I was just your good old partner and best friend…nothing more" she stopped trying to wipe away the tears that were falling freely down her cheeks. It was a good thing she had her back to Harm, she didn't want him to see her tears but then felt his hands gently touching her shoulders.

Upon hearing Meg's confession Harm had felt like someone had smacked him. He had no idea just how strong her feelings had been for him. His thoughts and feelings made him a little lightheaded. He felt love, anger and pain all in one. Love and elation for this wonderful person that had loved him enough to walk away; anger at himself for not seeing what was right in front of him; pain for realizing just how much he had hurt her with his ignorance. He realized just how much strength it took her to walk away, he knew that if the roles had been reversed he may have not been able to do it.

And the fact that she still spoke about those feelings with such raw emotion made him hope that they may still have a chance at true love. He knew that it would not be easy but he was willing to fight.

So he got up from the couch and slowly walked to her not feeling able to stay away from her. He needed to be close to her, to make her feel protected, to finally tell her how much she meant to him.

The moment his hands touched her shoulders he had felt the familiar jolt that had always been there whenever they touched intentionally or not. Only now it felt even stronger. He started to run his hands up and down her arms in a soothing way and was rewarded when he felt her lean into him ever so slightly, then she spoke again her voice even softer.

"Loosing Bruce made me realize just how much I missed your friendship and how alone I felt. So I started to call Julia asking her about you... it somehow made me feel better to know that you were alright. I'm sorry…"Meg stopped when she heard the same words echoed by Harm's voice. His closeness affected her immensely but she could not stand the thought of him feeling sorry for her. It felt worse than him being angry at her.

"Don't … don't feel sorry for me Harm, the last thing I ever want from you is your petty" she finished in an angry voice trying to step away from him.

Sensing her intention Harm quickly grabbed her by the arm and turned her around to face him placing his other hand on her cheek.

"What I feel for you has nothing to do with petty Meg" he said sternly looking deep into her eyes. He needed her to understand and never doubt him. They had lost so many years because of words not spoken. He didn't want for them to go through that again.

"I'm sorry that I never had the courage to tell you that you were more than just my best friend and my partner. You know that when it comes to my feelings I don't do a very good job at expressing them…what I am trying to say is that I was also in love with you and still am, even after all this time.' He finished in a ragged voice tenderly stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

Meg could not believe what she was hearing but seeing all the love reflected in his soulful eyes made her realize that it was real. The look in his eyes and his tender touch made her feel dizzy and her knees turn to jelly. She tried to find the right words to express how she felt in that moment but even her mind had turned to mush making her feel like a teenager. And as such she said one of the silliest things she had ever said to a man "I think that my knees just gave in".

Harm raised his head a little and stared at her for a few seconds not understanding her words and then just picked her up and twirled her around laughing hard. Only Meg could say such unbelievable sweet things in such moments.

"I just told you that I loved you and all you can say is that your knees gave in?" he asked in mock disbelief as he was putting her down looking into her twinkling eyes that made her look even more lovingly stunning.

"And what would you say if the man that you've been in love with for years told you that he loved you back?" she asked with an impish grin.

"Well, that may be a problem Meg, because I'm not really into men" he answered with a grin of his own, earning a mock slap on his chest. "But if the woman I'm still in love with told me that, I would probably say..." he leaned even closer to whisper in her ear. " My heart stopped and is waiting for you to make it beat again".

"And how do you suppose I do that?" she asked whispering back.

"Let me show you…" he said in a husky voice slowly touching her rosy lips with his right thumb and then dipping his head and kissing her tentatively at first and then opening his mouth on hers devouring her. It was a fierce kiss filled with all the emotion and desire they had in heir hearts. Harm's head was filled with her scents, he could not- could not believe he was kissing her and that she was responding in kind. It was much more wonderful than anything he had imagined.

Shivering, they finally parted in need of oxygen, foreheads close together, breathings ragged and hearts pounding.

"Not bad for a first kiss Mr. Rabb" Meg said with a mischievous grin.

"It was actually our fifth Mrs. Austin" he replied giving one of his crooked smiles. "Don't tell me you've forgotten about the other four?" he asked guiding her back to the couch letting her snuggle close to him.

"I'm not sure… I may need you to refresh my memory" she answered sheepishly.

Harm just chuckled and gave her another heart stopping kiss. He knew she remembered, especially when half of those kisses had been her doing. But it was one in particular that held a special place in his heart…

It happened at the beginning of their partnership, after the Thai Ambassador's wife tried to kill him. He had taken Meg out for a thank you dinner at Tony's. It had been a great evening. They had a few great laughs with Tony, all of them at Meg's expense. But when detective Axelrad came into the restaurant with a couple of buddies Meg became uncomfortable. Apparently the detective had asked her out that very evening and Meg had given a flimsy excuse of having a headache, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

She went out to take some fresh air while Harm paid for the dinner. He had seen the detective follow her and also Meg's embarrassed reaction when they talked.

When Harm came out of the restaurant Meg grabbed his jacket and said in a hurried voice "Kiss me!"

"What? Why?" he had asked shocked.

"Because we're together!" she answered back.

"Oh yeah, since when?" he had asked with an impish grin and raised eyebrow.

"Since now" she had answered and hurriedly kissed him on the lips.

From the corner of his eye he saw the detective pass them with a disappointed look on his face and he finally understood her little game.

"Harm, are you alright?" Meg asked a little worried. He had a far away look on his face.

"Yes," he answered looking lovingly at her. "Just remembered the time we were officially "together" for about ten seconds" he finished playfully touching her nose with his finger.

"God, I was so embarrassed after that, I remember avoiding you for the rest of that weekend" she said laughing.

"Ha, I knew it!" he replied in mock victory. "You always were a terrible liar" he finished kissing her temple. Meg has always been one of the most sincere people he ever met.

"Only when I was around you" she answered smiling.

"Thank God" he smiled back giving her featherlike kisses all over her face.

Meg was feeling like she was on a cloud but was quickly brought to the ground when reality set in. "We have three days…" she said with a heavy sigh.

Harm felt his heart sink to his feet. He knew that after the case is solved she will have to go back to Pearl Harbor. Swallowing hard he asked "What happens after that?"

"I don't know Harm. I honestly don't know" she answered with sadness etched in her voice.

"I don't want to loose you again Meg. It took us so long to finally admit how we feel about each other… We will figure something out…" he finished sternly holding her even tighter to him.

"And if we don't?" she asked reluctantly not wanting to imagine the possibility but knowing that it existed.

"We will…" he answered knowing in his heart that whatever the obstacles that will come their way, they will overcome them.

For now they will enjoy every moment they will spend together over the weekend, and he intended to make that weekend one she will never forget…

* This chapter is a little short but I promise I will make it up to you in future chapters. Hope you like it.


End file.
